just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
