Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
