What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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