thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
