I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
