Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
