so explain again why im purple
no
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
