Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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