Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
