...so i touched it.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
