singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
