? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
