have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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