the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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