i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize