she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
