tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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