Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
