due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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