So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
