Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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