she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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