Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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