Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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