just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
