whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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