Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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