The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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