Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Randomize
