Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
