when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
