Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I need moral support for this bender
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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