Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
