we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
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you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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