No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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