Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
