i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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