Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
