Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
