It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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