i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
