I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
