Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I can tuck mytits in my pants
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
