Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
