She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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