There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
