...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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