Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
