come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
