I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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