He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
