Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
