I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
