No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
