Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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