It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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