I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
