Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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