this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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