i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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