What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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